PrankOff
by doctorcoffeeboy
Summary: This is co-written with my friend 'x-Pick'n'Mix-x', and is posted on her profile too. My own first meander into this fandom. Watson tells Sherlock not to experiment on Gladstone any more, Sherlock decides to retaliate, resulting in an amazing prank war!
1. Of Spiders and Cockroches

**A/N: this story is going to be a combined one by me and doctorcoffeegirl, my newly discovered fanfic friend :) lol. Anyway, I'm going to be writing as Sherlock Holmes, pulling the first prank on Watson, and she will be writing as John Watson and doing his retaliation. This will be an on going thing and I'm sure we'll try to update regularly :D also, this story will be posted on her profile (exactly the same). We won't know what each other's prank will be so there is no planning ahead. It's kinda like us actually having a prank war :) but using Holmes and Watson to carry them out :) **

**It's set in the 1800s and is based on the RDJ and JL version **

**Anyway, enough from me, on with the story! :) **

**Holmes' POV **

"Holmes!" Watson shouted, I sighed.

"Yes my dear Watson?" I replied.

"What have you done to Gladstone this time?"

"Well, I was simply testing-"

"Stop testing on my dog!" he interrupted.

"One, its rude to interrupt and two, _our _dog" I grinned behind my book.

"Holmes, I swear, one day you're going to take it too far and kill the poor animal!" he sighed and slumped into his chair.

"Not at all Watson, I know how much is safe for him to consume. Besides, who else could I possibly test it on?..." a thought struck me "Watson-"

"No"

"Beg pardon?"

"I said 'no'"

"I didn't even-"

"The answer will still be no" he interrupted. Again.

"Watson, if you let me finish a sentence I-"

"No Holmes. You're not testing anything on me… or Mrs Hudson"

"How did you even know I was going to ask-"

"I just did"

"Watson, if you interrupt me agai-"

"Just stop testing stuff on _my_ dog" he ordered and picked up the newspaper.

"_Our _dog" I muttered and decided that Watson would make an interesting test subject to see the reactions of an ex soldier when surprised upon awakening.

So, I left him to his newspaper and went about coming up with a plan.

_Hmm… morning. Watson wakes up at roughly 8 each morning. _

_I wonder if I still have that hand from my last case. _

Without a word to Watson, I rose from my chair and made my way to my bedroom door.

"How long will he be out for Holmes?" Watson sighed.

"Roughly another hour or so" I replied and went into my room, closing the door, I began the search.

_Hmm… did I leave it in a box or did I take it out? _

I peaked under my bed and saw a load of boxes. _This could take a while… _

After an hour of searching, I found the hand. Along with some dead cockroaches, the tarantula that I had stored in honey and a load of string. _Perfect_ I smiled.

I checked my pocket watch, '10.37' Watson should be retiring soon and I can begin work on the first stage of my plan.

At exactly 11 o'clock, Watson called to let me know he was off to bed.

Once I was sure he was safely in his room, I set up base in the living room.

First, I removed the old tarantula from the honey and gave her a good clean. I then attached the string to her abdomen and made sure there was enough string to reach from the ceiling to just above Watson's nose. This whole process took me 37 minutes; the honey was rather hard to get off.

I placed everything into a box and waited. After 23 minutes I went upstairs to stand outside Watson's bedroom. Once I could safely confirm his breathing was regular, I crept in and began my preparations. I hung the spider from the ceiling and made sure it was only about 15 cm away from his face. This was extremely difficult seeing as he kept stirring so I had to remain completely still until I could safely say he was still sleeping.

I placed a few cockroaches on his pillow, one in his drink and one in each of his slippers. Glancing at my work and checking it was all to my liking, which is was, I placed the hand so that it was on the pillow next to his and tiptoed from the room. With one last smirk, I left and retired to my own room.

I awoke at 7 and so I decided that I would go and sneak back into his room so that I could watch the event unfold. He was currently led on his side, facing the hand and cockroaches.

Once I had placed myself in the corner, hidden by a chair, I waited.

He began to stir at exactly 7.55. At 7.57 he opened his eyes.

As soon as he saw the hand, he screamed (not very manly either) and rolled over to face up, where he came face to face with…lets call her Betsy… he made a startled yelp rolled over again where he fell to a twisted heap of sheets on the floor.

Somehow, remaining completely straight faced, I rose from my hiding place, holding a pen to the page of a note pad and read aloud as I wrote, "subject reacted in a scared manner. Did not resort to violence, just screamed and rolled away. Further tests may be necessary"

I was near the door by the time I had finished writing and just managed to duck through it as Watson hurled a book at me accompanied with a very loud "Holmes!"

"Subject reacted violently to observer. Observer would like to perform another experiment at a later date" I stated, loud enough for him to hear, as I stood outside his now closed door.

I dashed into my room and promptly burst out laughing.

"Well Watson" I said to the empty room, "that's what you get when you ban me from experimenting on _our_ dog" I smirked.

**A/N: hope you enjoyed it. I was a bit stuck and didn't really know how to start, but I hope this was ok :) the next chapter will be written by doctorcoffeegirl. Thanks for reading. Let me know what you thought.**


	2. Of Smoke and Lies

A/N: Hi. Doctorcoffeegirl here. Writing this with my friend, whom you met in the last Chapter. This one took me a while, so sorry for the delay.

**Let's not keep you waiting, on with the show! **

Watsons' POV

It had been ten days since Holmes decided to conduct his little 'experiment' on me. I really worry for that man, for that hand seemed to be weeks old, and I'm sure I recognise the smell from his room.

I had refused to talk to Holmes for the first few days, but he filled the silence with that dreadful violin, so I gave in to conversation. It didn't take long before Holmes and I were back to routine.

Holmes had, of course, been correct, and Gladstone recovered completely, with no thanks to my colleague.

I spent my week trying desperately to think of ways to get back at Holmes, once realising he wasn't going to get me. The idea that he might was even more motivation to keep me going, and at last, on the way to the living room, I had a burst of inspiration in the shape and sound of a gunshot.

I tried to conceal my grin as I entered the room, keeping my casual remark about shooting whilst there were guests in the house – Mrs Hudson was having tea with someone – as I sat down and hid behind my newspaper. I just needed him out of the house.

Holmes actually agreed with me for once and instead went over to his desk, working easily around the clutter, or 'well organised Chaos' as he like to correct me, to mix together some nasty looking concoction. I didn't much like the look he occasionally shot at my dog as he worked.

" _Our_ dog."

" What?" I looked up and over my paper.

" It's _Our_ dog, and he'll be fine. He agreed to it." Holmes smiled, and I was for once too occupied to ask how he knew my thoughts.

I wracked my brains for a few minutes until I worked out how to get Holmes out of the house.

" Lestrade got another case." I informed him.

" Really? I haven't had a telegram."

" Maybe he thinks he can handle it alone?"

Holmes laughed. " I doubt he can. What is it?"

" Murder. Brutal, apparently." I lied, keeping my voice level and eyes on the imaginary article.

Holmes grinned uncharacteristically and jumped up, sending the chair across the room and almost into Gladstone.

" I've got to go. I'll be back soon, my good Doctor." Holmes grabbed his Jacket out of the mess and leaped out of the room and out the door.

My eyes landed on his revolver and I smiled. _He forgot it, as usual._ I picked it up, knowing I had little time, for he'd soon work out there wasn't one, and come back. I began to feel slightly guilty for sending him away happy like that, but then Gladstone huffed, reminding me why I was doing it.

" Very true." I looked at Gladstone. " He has to learn his lesson."

It only took a short amount of time to adapt the gun so that it would suit my purpose, and no sooner had I re-loaded it with my preferred ammo and sat back down than Holmes stormed in.

" Everything okay?" I asked innocently.

" Liar." He muttered.

" Excuse me?" _Maybe this was enough?_

" Liar! Fiend! Scoundrel!" He threw an object at me with each word. " There was No Case!"

" Really?" I lifted the shirt from over my eyes. " Must have misread it."

" Misread?" Holmes scowled and ripped the paper from my hands, leafing through it. " There was NO article at all!"

I shrugged. " Sorry."

Holmes grumbled about ' deceiving so-called friends' and went back to his desk.

I waited in silent patience for a few more hours, going over old Medical Journals. Waiting. After a while he showed no signed of moving from his work so I retired to bed, hoping I wouldn't miss the fun.

Eventually Holmes did as I intended, two days later just as I entered. He raised the gun to the wall and fired the trigger.

I stepped back and stifled a laugh as the thick smoke cleared and revealed a soot-covered Holmes. He was completely black and seemed to sink into the darkness behind him. I bit my lip as my eyes traced his face, covered completely, apart from crinkles round his eyes where he had scrunched his face as the blast happened. His bright eyes darted to me and he scowled, the effect broken by how absurd he looked.

" Watson…you did this."

" Oh, good Deduction my dear fellow." I told him around chuckles. He stood up to advance on me and I stepped back, not wanting to get covered myself, this suit was new.

I chose to run and fled to my room, laughing the whole way so much I thought my insides would burst.

" WATSON!" He called, hammering on the door. I sank down on my side, still laughing. His expression: A mixture of shock/surprise and confusion (A rare one on my friend) stuck in the forefront of my mind for the rest of the day.

**A/N: Ta-dah! I had originally intended to write him a letter from 'The Queen', AKA Watson himself about a knighthood being given through the letter, but this idea seemed better. What do you all think?**


	3. Of Returning 'friends'

**a/n:** this is written by me again (x-pick'n'mix-x) :) as Holmes.

**Prank off part 3 **

**Holmes' POV **

After finally getting all the black soot off me, I sat in my arm chair and lit my pipe, thinking of a way to get him back. Mrs Hudson came in once to give me some tea, muttering something about us both being big kids, but I haven't seen Watson yet.

I sighed and continued racking my brains for a master retaliation.

Then an idea hit me like a steam train! I leapt to my feet and dashed over to my desk to find a pen and some paper. With both pieces of equipment acquired, I sat down and began to write.

_Dear Watson, _

_I have been called away on a case, in France. _

_I shall be back in a few days. _

_Holmes. _

Satisfied, I placed it on his arm chair and walked over to where I kept my disguises. I pulled out a few items of clothing and dashed into my bedroom. In half an hour, I had turned myself into Lord Blackwood. Smiling at myself in the mirror, I walked out of the house and returned an hour later. Obviously, whilst I had been out, I wore a wig and a fake beard so that people wouldn't be confused.

I knocked on the door and was bought in by Mrs Hudson, who showed me into the living room. She announced me as Sir Henry Walter and I was called in. as she walked down the stairs, I removed the fake beard and hair so that I looked like Blackwood again and casually strolled into the living room.

"Blackwood?" Watson gasped and stumbled backwards. "That…that's impossible! I saw you!... I saw you hanging on the chain above the Thames!"

"You were fooled again Doctor. Now I shall have my revenge." I spoke in a sinister voice.

"No you won't! I shan't allow it!" Watson cried.

"Oh really? And what are you going to do to stop me?" I laughed maniacally.

"I'll shoot you!" he cried.

"Oh really? Go on then" I smirked.

Watson dashed and grabbed his revolver from his near by desk and pointed it at me. As soon as he fired, I fell to the floor.

"HA!" he yelled in triumph.

I laughed and rose to my feet again as I glared at his horrified face.

"How- how is that possible?" he cried and began firing the remainder of his bullets into my chest.

I looked down and smirked. "You underestimate my powers Doctor" I said smoothly.

"wha- how are you doing this?" he demanded as he began backing up towards the window.

I began walking towards him with a maniacal grin.

"Stay away from me!" he yelled.

"And why would I want to do that?" I sneered.

"So help me I'll – I'll…"

I burst out into a fit of hysterical laughter and landed on the sofa, clutching my sides.

"Holmes? My god! What do you think you're doing? You nearly gave me a heart attack!" he bellowed and began walking towards me.

I jumped up and dashed into my bedroom before calling, "payback Watson, and payback. You needed to know who you're messing with" I grinned to myself and collapsed onto my bed. Laughing again, I heard him cursing me through my bedroom door.

I wonder how long it will take for him to find the disappearing ink in his pot?...

**a/n:**I know its not very long, but I really had no ideas. I keep thinking of ideas for pranks, and then I realise that they wouldn't work on Watson, more liked Holmes, but oh well. I hope you liked it :D


	4. Of Ink and Cocaine

**A/N: ****Hey! Wasn't Holmes' prank good? And doesn't **_x-pick'n'mix-x_ **deserve a round of applause? Right. Onto mine! This ones a bit immature, but hopefully that's half the fun! – **_**Doctorcoffeegirl**_

Watsons POV

Once I recovered from Holmes' sick idea of 'fun', I wasted no time in retiring to my room, trying to work out how to get him back. I took the time to make sure that Gladstone came with me.

" Mr. Watson?" Mrs. Hudson stopped me, looking worried for me. " You're pale as a ghost, are you feeling okay?" Her mothering nature had kicked in.

" I'm fine, Mrs. Hudson. Don't worry about me."

" Was it Mr. Holmes?" She asked wearily, already knowing the answer.

" Yes, I'm afraid it was. But don't worry, he'll get his comeuppance." I smiled confidently, mind still trying to work out _how_.

" Honestly, sir. I never thought you would rise to the bait." Mrs. Hudson shook her head but I just smiled.

" Good Day Mrs. Hudson." I nodded my farewell and carried on to my room.

A few hours on the night was spent tossing and turning, my mind working on schemes, most of them seemed too obvious for Holmes, too easy.

At last, around 11pm, my eyes snapped open, alight with my idea.

" Of course." I whispered to myself. Satisfied with my plan and knowing I couldn't act upon it until the time was right, I turned over and let myself fall asleep.

Over the next few days after my plan lit up, no chances arrived. Holmes was thriving on his own cleverness and how he had tricked me. He occasionally let out a snigger or chuckle as his eyes caught the cloak he had carelessly thrown over his chair.

I endured his silent teasing, waiting to strike.

At long last, almost three days later, I arrived in the his room to see Holmes sprawled out on his chair. My medical skills instantly told me the cause was probably Morphine. For once, I wasn't angry with him, and this time, I actually grinned at the incompetence of my friend; this was just what I needed.

Taking a deep breath to calm myself and prepare for this, I walked carefully over Gladstone and all the piles of rubbi- '_Work', _to where Holmes kept the ink for writing.

As I picked up the pen and ink, advancing slowly upon Holmes, Gladstone huffed his approval. I shot him a glare and the dog instantly settled and watched me silently as I checked my friend was indeed unconscious.

I dipped the pen in the ink and, after taking a moment to giggle, began to draw on the consulting detectives face.

Taking my time at this, I drew a series of hearts across his cheekbones and a long twirling moustache that any well-known man would despise. To top it all off, I printed 'I Love Gladstone' in bold letters across his forehead.

I took a moment to stand back and admire my handiwork before putting down the ink and settling in my chair to wait out his slumber.

It took three hours for Holmes to regain consciousness, and to announce his arrival to the world of the living, he stretched and ran a hand through his dark hair, gazing at the mess in his room blearily. The ink had set, and I had made the effort to make it permanent.

Holmes looked across at me calmly, and I failed myself by laughing suddenly and clutching my sides for fear of my ribs breaking.

" What?" Holmes asked, confusion lighting his face – seems I am the only one who can create that emotion – until he caught sight of himself in a reflection.

" WATSON!" He yelled, making a grab for me and snarling when I danced out of the way. I continued to laugh as he threw objects at me, anything he could reach, but I kept deftly dodging them as I made my way backwards towards the door, grinning like it was Christmas.

Holmes's yells of anger and frustration chased me and echoed down the corridors as I locked myself in my room, tears of laughter sliding down my cheeks and I collapsed onto my bed, curling up and still laughing.

**A/N:**** I can actually see this happening! I have a picture of Holmes on my wallpaper on my laptop, and I can see this doodling happening :D ! **

**Well, Rate and Review please! It means SO much. **


	5. Of socks and murders

a/n: hey! Me again :D just like to say, well done doctorcoffeegirl, good prank :D know its been a while, a bit of writers block. Couldn't think of a prank, still cant as I'm starting to write this :/ just hoping something comes as I go lol.

The female sherlock holmes, thanks for reviewing :D I'd love to use those ideas but because we have it set in the 1800s, I don't think I could get away with it :( if you have any other ideas though, I'd love to hear them :D big thanks from me and doctorcoffeegirl :)

Anyway, on with the story :) oh, just to let you know, I'm making it in this chapter that Watson hasn't yet discovered Holmes' boxing talent. :)

*Holmes' POV*

After an hour of scrubbing my face, the ink finally came off. Sighing, I sat down on my bed and began to plot my revenge.

Hmm… what are Watson's habits?

1. He likes a brandy in the evening

2. He smokes after luncheon and dinner times

3. He likes to take a walk when his leg isn't troubling him

4. He always leaves straight away if a patient calls for him

5. He enjoys the company of the fairer sex

6. He's always up for breakfast

7. He sleeps when he's in his armchair and I'm not speaking

8. He likes to be neat at all times

9. He likes to gamble

Hmm, how can this list help me?

I sat and pondered this for a while, mentally going through possible situations for each point.

Brandy? Perhaps a laxative? No, no. that is taking it too far.

Smoking? A small explosive in his pipe? Possibly.

Walk? Could 'accidently' bump into someone, losing his wallet in the process? Perhaps.

Patient? Pretend to be a patient and cause a lot of bother? Maybe.

Women? Perhaps I could contact Irene? No. she would take his side.

Breakfast? Sleeping powder? No fun at all.

Sleeping in armchair? Pour water on him? No. scare him? No. could cause shock.

Being neat? Take a sock from each pair? Hmm, not brilliant, but amusing.

Gambling? Take him to the punchbowl and challenge a larger opponent? Pretend that I know I'll lose? Get injured and make it look like I'm losing, only to win at the end? Maybe for a small part of this major payback.

I still need a bigger finale! Right, so far I have: a small explosive in the pipe, not enough to cause harm, but enough to cover him in ash (payback for the gun fiasco!), steal his wallet and put a dead cockroach in it rather than stealing it, pretend to be a patient, take one sock from each pair and pretend to be nearly pummelled to death only to come back in the end and not break a sweat in taking the opponent down.

This whole plan is simply not eccentric enough! I need something bigger! Something more dramatic! Something more like… me!

No. that is not good enough. I will stick with the explosive in the pipe and perhaps taking one of each pair of socks, but the others simply will not do.

Aha! A crime scene! I will tell him to some to a crime scene, I will be hiding when he arrives, Lestrade will greet him and tell him that I am expected to arrive shortly, but when he goes to examine the body, said body won't be dead! Marvellous! And I will be waiting behind him so when the body comes to life, he will turn to run and come face to face with a zombie! Brilliant!

I snuck into the living room and placed a small amount of gunpowder in Watson's pipe; he will smoke this before coming to the scene and expect this to be my full prank! I also took one of each pair of his socks, just for fun.

Smiling, I grabbed my hat and coat and slunk out the door. I hailed a cab to Scotland Yard and arrived in 10 minutes.

I walked straight in and towards Lestrade's office. I opened the door and strolled in "Lestrade"

"Holmes, you could knock" he sighed.

"Right, what ever you say. Now, as payment for my cases, I would like you to assist me in a little idea of mine"

"Oh really? You need my assistance?" he smirked.

"Oh, not for a case." His smile faded. "No, I need you to prepare a false crime scene for me"

"Why?"

"Because, Watson has it in his head that he can beat me in a prank war! So naturally, I need to prove him wrong"

"And you need my help why?" he asked with one eyebrow raised.

I told him my plan and he was growing more and more enthusiastic as I went on. In the end, he agreed and told me that he would have the new officer that Watson hadn't met yet be the body. We agreed on a time and a place and I returned to Baker Street to get my disguise ready. When I returned, I walked past a Watson with a black face, smiling innocently; I strode into my bedroom, where I burst out laughing. Settling myself, I began work on my disguise. I was ready in half an hour and left through my window.

I passed the telegram to Wiggins and told him to wait ten minutes before delivering it personally. With that done, I sprinted towards the crime scene. Once I arrived, I was

greeted by Lestrade and hid in a nearby bush. I must say, the crime scene looked rather realistic.

It was 20 minutes before Watson arrived and I watched with a smile as he greeted Lestrade and looked around for me. I saw Lestrade saying something to him; he nodded and walked over to the body. I took this as my cue and snuck up behind him.

As he pulled out his medical examination kit, I stepped closer. Just as he went to check the mans eyes, the young lad grasped his wrist and sat up with a crazed look in his eye. Watson squeaked and wrenched his hand from the mans grip.

He went to spin and run but ran straight into me and stumbled backwards, tripping over the prone officer and landing on his rear. He began to shuffle backwards and I walked towards him with my head cocked to the side.

It was all going perfectly until, simultaneously, me, Lestrade and the young officer burst out laughing. Watson had a confused look on his face until he recognised my laugh.

"Holmes!" he bellowed. Rising to his feet and storming towards me. "Why do you pranks have to involve dead people?" he yelled.

"I-I… Watson, I'm… oh your face!" I giggled uncontrollably alongside the officer and Lestrade, who was actually leaning on me from trying to stay balanced.

"Holmes!" he said with a warning in his voice.

I managed to sober my self enough not to be laughing, but couldn't keep the smile from my face.

"Consider yourself lucky old boy," I took a deep breath to contain myself before continuing. "I was thinking of getting Irene involved somehow, I believe she's back in London, but decided against it. She would most likely take your side and I can't see what prank I could use her in against you" I smiled.

"Holmes, I thought the pipe was the prank!" he sighed in exasperation and rubbed his face.

"Oh that was the plan; you would have been on edge otherwise." I grinned.

"So who's this?" he asked, pointing in the direction of the lad on the floor, still shaking from supressed laughter.

"Oh him? He's a new officer."

"Lestrade, I though you were more responsible then this." Watson frowned.

"Not at all doctor Watson, he offered this as his payment" Lestrade smiled.

"I was going take one of each pair of your socks… oh, never mind. I did that"

He glared and lunged at me. I danced out the way and ran home laughing, calling a thanks to Lestrade and the young officer over my shoulder as Watson chased me. He didn't last long and soon enough I lost him. Smiling, I made my way to the punchbowl, I don't think it's safe to go straight back to Baker Street.

a/n: well, what do you think? I think it turned out pretty well considering I made it up as I went along :) the bit where he changed his mind about the prank, I actually changed my mind after typing all that and just thought I'd leave it in lol. Anyway, please let me know what you think :D


	6. Of Poison and Tears

A/N: Okay, gotta admit, Holmes was pretty good at that. Zombie? Completely unexpected. Now, onto reviews:

**THERE AREN'T ANY! Both of us only have like, FIVE. Please, if you like what's going on, or don't like it, or have any ideas, please let us know! Even if the review is juts a smiley face!**

**Okay, that was begging, but I am desperate to know if people really read this. **

**But moving on: The **_**Female Sherlock Holmes**_**…I'll try my best to include your idea but next time, because it won't fit with now, thanks for the awesome review though! Here goes Chapter 6! One slight use of offensive language, with Watson being slightly OC during it. This Chapter is slightly AU, and suggests the Blackwood case has passed, but Watson no longer lives with Mary. Just assume it didn't work out or something.**

Watson POV

I rushed home, trying to hide my embarrassment at how I had squealed at Holmes' 'Zombie' impression, but upon arriving I discovered Holmes wasn't at Baker Street.

Frowning, I went to my room and checked. "The Git." He really _had_ stolen the socks.

There had to be a way to get back at him.

I sat down in the living room, picking up my pipe gingerly, looking all over in case any more explosives had been set, but it looked okay. I lit it and leant back, trying to set my mind with something good.

Gladstone whined and interrupted my thoughts. I looked over and saw my dog –because it obviously was – crawling towards me, whining again. I slipped of the chair and ruffled his ears.

"What has Holmes done to you this time?" I asked fondly. "Don't worry, I'll find a way to get him back. At least it's not what he did after the Blackwood Case, you practically died." I paused suddenly. "Of course." Blackwood, that was the answer!

"By Jove!" I laughed suddenly, and started to leaf through the Experiments Holmes had done during the Blackwood case. He kept these apart in a different box like he did with each other case that was closed. Of course, that had to be the only time he was neat, when it came to his beloved experiments.

I found the substance I had been looking for. "There's the Devil." I smiled.

Holmes had used a liquid on Gladstone, the last day that me and Mary had visited before I left, unknown to me that I would return only a few months later, of course. The substance he had used was unnamed, because My Darling wife Mary interrupted Holmes as he was about to tell me but,if I remembered correctly, it gave mortal paralysis and even fooled me. Lord Blackwood had used it to trick me so now I could use it on Holmes, seen as he'd teased me on it for a long time.

I chuckled as the plan concocted in my head. This would be good.

"No time like the present." I murmured and loaded the file into a needle and injected it into my arm.

The effects were pretty quick so I layed him down in the way I intended and spilled a clear cup of poison next to my hand, so it would look like I had simply taken a drink and misguided my actions.

I felt my pulse become slower until it was unidentifiable and my skin become cooler, taking on the pasty, dead effect. Now all I had to do was wait and not give anything away.

I had only been injected with a small amount so I had about an hour until the effects wore of and then I was back to looking my normal self.

It took 55 minutes for Holmes to return, and I was starting to worry that it would run out before he got back.

Holmes walked through the entrance hall, asking Mrs. Hudson after me, and I heard her saying I was in the living room.

I heard him enter the room and forced myself to remain motionless.

"Watson?" Holmes ran over and collapsed beside me, looking very upset. "Watson!"

I stayed still, wondering if it was too mean, but knowing this was for his own good.

"Oh my god." Holmes sniffed and it sounded like he might have been crying. But this was Holmes, such an idea was stupid, right? Especially over me. "Watson…" He whispered.

"I-um…" Holmes stood up, and I heard him take a step back. He turned and ran out of the door, calling down the house for Mrs. Hudson.

As soon as Holmes had left, I sat up and looked in my reflection. I was getting back my colour and my pulse was regaining strength.

I chortled and sat on my normal chair, picking up today's paper. I settled down and found an interesting story.

Just as my colour got back to normal, Holmes and Mrs. Hudson fled into the room. Holmes had tear marks down his face.

I looked up inquiringly as they entered, just the right amount of concern on my face.

"Can I help you Holmes?" I asked in a monotone, trying not to smirk.

"You-" Holmes started. "You were-"

"Pardon, Holmes? Are you alright? You look a little pale."

Holmes stammered and I lifted the paper, hiding my smirk.

I couldn't hold it any more, and just laughed.

"WATSON!" Holmes yelled, running over and ripping the paper from my hands to see me doubled up, shaking with silent laughter.

"…" I couldn't speak for the giggles that escaped my throat.

"I must admit, touché, my good fellow." Holmes said angrily. "But if you think you've won, you must really think again." He turned and stormed out, leaving me laughing.

"Really Doctor Watson, you shouldn't encourage him like this." Mrs. Hudson shook her head, turning round and leaving, refusing to be a part of this.

I could tell I was really in for it, but I had done the one thing Holmes hated most: Made something measure on an emotional level, his single most hated thing.

A/N: I know, a little bit cliché, making him say 'By Jove!' like that, but I had to do it. A little bit mean. I'm not too sure if it's okay. I planned on changing to Gladstone being 'dead' but wrote it of as being not good enough because they're fighting over the dog in the first place. My friend whom I affectionately call Watson told me to stick with this one because they liked the idea of the Good Doctor just getting into his chair.


End file.
